As many of you know from an earlier blog that I had a heart attack recently.
As a result, I spent 10 days in the hospital. The first 3 days I was in ICU so had no idea what was happening outside my room. It was a bit like being in prison except I was not even allowed to go to the toilet with dignity and there was no chance of a shower. And I am not convinced that being offered a cheesecake for desert on the first night was the right thing to do.
Anyway, after 3 days I was moved to the general cardiac ward. This exposed me to lots of different people with cardiac issues. Some were like me with heart attacks, others who had pre-arranged stents put in, some had cardiac arrest issues, some who were being tested for blockages etc. There was also one who had a heart murmur after using some dubious recreational drugs. I made sure I got his number.
As you expect there is not much to do when you are in a cardiac ward recovering. Yes, you sleep a fair bit, but the TV is crap, you don’t want to work and for some reason, reading and streaming is hard work.
So many of us talked to each other. And me being who I am started having conversations with nurses and patients about regrets, what is important in life and what, if they could, they would change in life.
When death is near or one has a possible near death experience it can really bring out the truth. It can also be life changing. I believed it happened to a lot in that ward.
So what were they?
1. Social media is a waste of time
Whenever I mentioned social media, almost everyone told me they spent too much time on it and it is really is a waste of time.
It is a great tool for keeping in touch, but not one person told me that watching a cat fall off a sofa added any value to their lives. It certainly never made it to the top 20 things they had done in their lives that bought satisfaction. In fact, many told me they regret the time they were, say, in a coffee shop with their family and spent most of their time on social media, especially if the children have now grown up and there are no longer family trips to the coffee shop. Time never comes back so when it’s gone, it’s gone.
2. I need to work less
I spoke to a lot of people. None, I repeat none, told me they wished they worked more hours in their job or business. They all said the opposite. They would like to work less hours.
This I believe is down to mindset. We were all taught by our parents and teachers that we need to work hard. Anything else and you are a slacker. No one wants to be known as a slacker. Unless you have just had a heart attack and realise that you do not give to hoots about what other people think.
3. The desire to live on your terms
This was an interesting one. Some of the people I spoke to felt they never lived the life they wanted to live, but rather lived the life others expected of them. That may have been a family expectation, parent pressure, or living to someone else’s expectation.
As humans, we will generally do more for others than we will do for ourselves. This is often at the detriment to what we really want.
4. Kiss and Make Up
Friendships and family are complicated. Every family has its issues. And many of these issues are unresolved mostly because of ego. No one is willing to take the first step.
After a near death experience, most are willing to bury the hatchet and make up those relationships that may be broken. So why wait? Fix them now.
5. The Present is the Right Time
The biggest regret? That they left things too late.
Many thought they had all the time in the world to do want they dreamed about or wanted to do. Many think they will do whatever they want when they retire. Whilst in that Cardiac ward we all realised that the best time to do something is in the moment. Don’t wait.
Because you don’t really know if you will make it to retirement. You don’t really know if you are going to make it tomorrow.
If you can do what you want when you want, then do it. Don’t wait because if you do, it could be the biggest regret of your life.
